Richard Turen
As an entirely rational person, I have decided to prepare for the inevitable email I will be receiving from Elon Musk. He will, I am certain, at some point require me to list five things that I did last week.
Work has been rather busy, but from all that I am reading, I do need to take time away from my tasks to spell out some bullet points for Elon's cadre of teen-techie number crunchers.
In my case, this gets a tad complicated. I am self-employed, so I had always assumed that my job was "safe" as long as I was willing to work the hours required by my wife Angela, our company president. My situation is, however, a bit confusing as I also work part-time for Northstar Travel Group, the parent company of the publication you're currently reading. Does that mean I have to submit more than five bullet points?
Just to be on the safe side, I think I will go with seven. Of course, part of Elon's goal is to determine if Richard Turen really exists or is just a name on a paycheck. To be sure there is no confusion and prove to Elon and his minions that I am not deceased, I must comply. So Mr. Musk, this is what I did last week:
1. I communicated with a client who is a rabbi and a stand-up comedian. He and his wife were cruising around Australia and New Zealand, where he had booked himself an appearance at a theater in Tasmania. I needed to know how he had been received.
2. I wrote a 40-page client newsletter without ads or product promotions. I do it every month.
3. While on hold for a double stateroom booking with Viking, I had to hang up to convince the office dogs that the gentleman in the backyard was a landscaper, not an intruder.
4. I designed a brochure for a vacation I would be taking on the new Silversea ship next January. I started a subsidiary called LJR (Let's Just Relax) Cruises, and this would be our first effort. It would be a signature trip, meaning one of our annual vacations. I knew it wouldn't sell, but Angela, my boss, said it would. We had 27 booked in the first 72 hours.
5. I arranged for an elegant cooking lesson in Hong Kong for a CEO who, according to his wife, "has never cooked anything in his life." I figured he could handle a noodle dish.
6. I ran to Staples to buy several cases of printer toner. On the way home, I stopped for a hot grande mocha decaf latte with oat milk and no whip. As I drove up to the Starbucks microphone, I experienced my only real concern that day: Would I forget what to say when ordering?
7. I started work on a real estate overview trip to the Puglia region of Italy for a Washington insider from McLean, Va. He told me that half of the homes on his block were occupied by recently unemployed people.
And Elon, let me add just one more just to be on the safe side -- wherever that might be:
8. I was notified that Virtuoso had identified me, among others, as a Cruise Icon. I basked in the glow until, a few moments later, I realized that was just a recognition of my age.
I hope the above is sufficient to keep my day job. If you need five more bullet points in another month or so, Elon, I will be happy to comply. I want to be cooperative.